Searching for a tribe

Have you ever stopped to notice how freaking hard it is to make friends as an adult? Seriously. Adults do lame adulty shit. I'm not going to be able to make a friend in line at the Grocery Store (or can I? I have spent some serious time in them before). When I get a new driver's license? Puh-lease.

Lately, I've been hung up on "finding a tribe". I was challenged on this last week. What is a tribe? I was asked by a friend. I froze. Um, people. Hanging out. Stuffs.  Hell, what am I looking for?!

Google came to my rescue yet again, ish. It was what I was afraid of.

tribe

trīb/

noun

1. 1.

   a social division in a traditional society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties, with a common culture and dialect, typically having a recognized leader.

   "indigenous Indian tribes"

   synonyms:

   ethnic group, people, band, nation; More
2. 2.

   BIOLOGY

   a taxonomic category that ranks above genus and below family or subfamily, usually ending in -ini (in zoology) or -eae (in botany).

I'm not interested in finding a group with a leader. Ugh, let's get away from that. Leader to me is one of those really hard words. Leader in a classroom, or social club for kids- awesome. Leader at work can be awesome or total shit. But to voluntarily sign up seek out a group of people where there is a Leader...? Fuck that, get me out. Why? Because I'm a "natural leader". I tend to take charge and make a lot of decisions. I do that at work, I do that for volunteer work. I don't want to do that with friendships... or "community".

Being married for so long, I didn't realize that it came with a side perk of a "built in community". You're married? We are married. Let's do married things together (um, not like that. Ever. I mean Play Trivial Pursuit on a Friday night because we have to mow the lawn on Saturday morning early).  Being a divorced lady, I have another community, but it's one I don't fit completely into. My therapist keeps encouraging me to go to divorce events, but am I wrong thinking it is a huge circle of people crying like a Lifetime Movie? I don't know. Where do you make friends? If you are in college, don't bother. I know, you go to bars. Where do adults make friends?

This is more of a rant post than anything funny or informative. And don't worry, friends from College. I am not giving up on this whole "growing and moving ahead" thing. Just a stalled out moment to bitch. This isn't a glamorous blog. This isn't going to be a place for you to expand your mind. This is real, gritty, and honest.